Being Seen
with Lauren Haley
Behavior Bites Podcast - Ep78Jul 29, 2026Can fostering animals lead to better practitioners?
Can reverting back to childhood preferences make for happier adults?
During today’s meal — I speak with a behavior analyst business owner about walking the fine line between being autistic and also a BCBA who practices ABA, how she practices self care, and her favorite comfort snack.
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Amuse-Bouche
How has fostering reactive dogs shaped your clinical work?
Appetizer
How did you get into Behavior Analysis?
How difficult is walking the line between the disability community as an Autistic woman, the ABA community as a behavior analyst, and the anti-ABA world as an advocate?
Palate Cleanser
Describe your favorite comfort meal after a difficult day.
Entree
Describe one of your biggest wins
How do you practice self-care and life/work balance?
Dessert
What is your favorite thing about what you do?
Excerpts from the Episode
(*Paraphrased highlights)-
I'm always very careful in how I phrase it because obviously, children are not dogs.
I liken it to two fields using the same science. I started fostering reactive dogs and ended up rescuing one. When I got my dog, Mary Jane Watson Barker, she was a neurotic little mess. She's an angel.
I had been dipping my toes in the world of force-free dog training, where they don't use negative reinforcement, punishment, any of those things. There's a really big focus on management.
I remember sitting down with my force-free trainer, Cassie, who is just an amazing human being. We were talking about my training goals for MJ. I have two nieces that live across the street from me. I said it was important to me that MJ was good with my nieces, that she was comfortable around them.
Cassie stopped me and she said, is it important to MJ though? Does that honor who she is? I was genuinely confused by that question.
I was like, well they're going to be coming over, so I feel like it's important that she's comfortable with it. Cassie had pointed out to me that there's so many ways to make her feel comfortable other than forcing her to be in a situation that makes her uncomfortable and just get used to it.
From that point on, we had created a safe haven protocol for MJ. Now when we have company, she is trained to come up to my room. It's her relaxation space. She loves it. She's much more comfortable.
This really opened up my mind to the idea that as a behavior scientist, which is very much what I consider Cassie to be, my role truly should be changing the environment whenever possible to suit the needs of whoever my learner is, whether that's canine or a human being.
Through that lens of management and regulation, even when we were working on cutting her nails, giving her ways to communicate with me, to withdraw assent when she needed to.
I had this light bulb moment of, if there are people doing this with dogs, why does it feel like we are so behind in the places that I was working at the time?
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After starting my company, I got my autism diagnosis around that same time. I'm relearning myself a lot. I'm realizing that I operate above capacity a majority of the time until I hit burnout, which I'm sure a lot of people can relate to.
I had this big realization in January that any hobby I've ever tried to cultivate has been meant to relax me, make me calm. This year, my goal has been to find little Lauren again. I remember I used to be exuberant and carefree. I wanted to find that again.
I decided to pick up a hobby that was meant to give me some joy and freedom. So I bought myself a pair of yellow quad roller skates. Now I take skating lessons every week.
It's been so fun to learn something that's designed to make me bigger instead of smaller.
Last week, I was like, “Oh my God, I don't want to vacuum.”
I was like… I wonder if I can throw my roller skates on… I put my music in my headphones and I'm dancing around the kitchen, roller skating to Elton John.
Finding the balance is constant. It's being able to recognize that maybe every day won't be perfectly balanced, but over the course of time, maybe I can build things in.
For a long time, I thought that balance was being relaxed and calm. I've learned this year that I actually feel much more balanced when I'm doing really loud, joyful things.
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I absolutely love when I am with one of my young students and I can tell they feel seen.
I had a situation this week. I had a student that was leaving the gym and he was sobbing. He was so upset because they made him leave a ball in the gym.
He sat down on the floor and they were trying to pick him up and shuffle him along. I sat down on the floor with him.
On my lanyard, I have a simple core board. I said, “I see you crying, buddy. It seems like you're sad.” I pointed to sad on my lanyard. He immediately took the core board out of my hands and pointed to sad.
I could see his shoulders deflate and I could see he was like, okay, she gets this.
The other thing I loved was how surprised the staff were, that were with him. I hadn't worked with this student really, and he picked up this board without seeing it before and pointed to sad.
Anyway, we just sat and were sad together for a little bit. That's what he needed. We grabbed his stuffed animal and we walked to class and I could just see the tension deflate from him.
My favorite part of what I do, is that. It's allowing people to be seen and to feel like they don't need to apologize for having emotions, whether it's the fact that he was sad or really joyful about something.
I love the ability to give people the chance to be authentically themselves. I just feel like it's such a gift and it's such a privilege.
ABOUT Lauren
Lauren Haley, BCBA, LBS, CTP
My name is Lauren, and I am the owner and founder of Better Care Consulting. I have a background in psychology with an undergraduate degree from West Chester University, and a Master’s in Education with a concentration in Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) from Temple University.
I am a Board Certified Behavior Analyst, Certified Trauma Professional, and an Adjunct Professor at Temple University. Over the course of my career, I've gained experience working in a variety of settings, including homes, schools, clinics, communities, and residential facilities. I've worked for both large and small companies, including privately owned small businesses and private-equity backed organizations. Each experience has shaped my understanding of what truly matters in providing quality care.
My clinical areas of focus include Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA), Acceptance and Commitment Training (ACT), caregiver consultation, organizational behavior management (OBM), and school systems/education consultation.
What I’ve learned over the years is that meaningful care goes beyond helping my clients fit in. It’s about helping them thrive authentically in a world which was not designed with their needs in mind. Better Care Consulting was born from the realization that if I wanted to be part of the change I wished to see in this field, I needed to do something differently than what is currently being done. My goal is to offer care that empowers individuals to build a life that feels true to who they are, with the confidence to navigate challenges and advocate for themselves.
I also love sharing the science of behavior analysis in ways that are approachable, practical, and fun. Whether through professional development or mentorship, I strive to make complex topics accessible and engaging. Ultimately, my mission is to help individuals live authentically, feel empowered, and thrive.
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