Grief Has No Timeline
with Krista Parker
Behavior Bites Podcast - Ep56February 12, 2025What can behavior analysts learn from other mental health providers?
How can understanding how people process grief be beneficial to our work?
During today’s meal— I speak with a brilliant individual in the field of marriage and family therapy about the similarities and differences of our fields, grieving and loss, and how to prevent getting activated during difficult sessions.
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Amuse-Bouche
How did you come up with the delicious idea of representing yourself with the Filipino dessert, halo-halo (as seen on your website)?
Appetizer
How did you get into Couples and Family Therapy?
How do you navigate discussions about complex trauma without triggering yourself or carrying the weight of others’ grief?
Expound on the phrase, “grief has no timeline.”
Palate Cleanser
Imagine it’s a sunny day in California and you’re going out to eat. Where are you going and what are you ordering?
Entree
Something you wish you could have told yourself when getting started?
If there were no barriers, what would be your dream project?
What’s it like being in a relationship with a behavior scientist as someone in a related field?
Dessert
How do you practice self-care?
What is your favorite thing about what you do?
Excerpts from the Episode
(*Paraphrased highlights)-
If you really look at anyone who's lost someone, a parent, a child— how can we ever fully be done with that grieving process?
It's not a one and done, because you love that person. It's more like that physical relationship is over, but the emotional relationship continues— and if that emotional relationship continues, then grief is going to be a lifelong thing.
It's not necessarily a bad thing. It doesn't mean you're going to be in pain all the time. I like to say it’s like waves. There are times when grief feels very still, and there are times when it hits like a huge tsunami wave, and it hits you out of nowhere. All our job is, is to ride that wave.
As time goes on, grief doesn't necessarily get less painful, but it becomes more manageable, and we have a bigger capacity for it. Grief is unique to each person. Even if it's a family that lost the same family member, each person is going to grieve differently because they had a different relationship with that person.
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Trust your process. I used to be so anxious about my future and where I would end up and I wish I was not so hard on myself or pressured myself to have it all “figured out,” because at the end of the day it all worked out exactly the way it should.
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To even start self-care/balance I had to get familiar with my own capacity, triggers, and coping skills. Through that introspection, self-care for me looks like:
Therapy
Sitting with my emotions to know how to better take care of myself
Slowing down, I can’t do everything nor should I
Moving my body + feeding myself well
Boundaries with work
Connecting with people who see me fully
Practicing self-compassion
My dog (I love you Chewie!)
ABOUT Krista
Krista Parker, M.A. LMFT, PhD Candidate
Krista Parker is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in California and PhD candidate with extensive experience in supporting diverse populations. Her journey into the helping field began with six years’ experience as a behavior interventionist, providing ABA therapy in both Los Angeles Unified District Schools and home settings. Krista currently maintains a virtual private practice, serves as an AAMFT approved supervisor candidate, and holds an adjunct faculty position at Antioch University New England.
Krista’s clinical focus is on complex trauma, grief and loss, anxiety, relationship issues, and BIPOC/AAPI mental health. She works with teens, adults, couples, and families in her private practice and her current research focuses on the effects of bicultural stress on the mental health well-being of second-generation Filipino Americans. Her commitment to accessible, quality mental health care is rooted in both personal and professional experiences, including her own journey through grief following the sudden loss of her mother in 2016. This transformative experience deepened her understanding of the particular challenges faced by children of immigrants in accessing and understanding mental health support.
As a scholar-practitioner, Krista is dedicated to breaking barriers and fostering inclusive, culturally responsive practices in the mental health field. She approaches her work through a social justice lens, with a particular focus on serving marginalized and underserved communities, providing psychoeducation, promoting self-compassion, and helping others live a life that feels the most authentic to them.
CONNECT with Krista
Instagram: @therapybykrista
Websites:
kristaparker.com
therapybykrista.comPlease support our podcast by leaving a rating or review!
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