Why Am I Talking
with Leanne Page
Behavior Bites Podcast - Ep49September 25, 2024Do you find yourself rambling in a caregiver coaching or supervision session?
Have you ever heard the acronym WAIT “why am I talking?”
During today’s meal— I speak with a behavior analyst, parent coach, and ABA business guru about taking time to slow down and listen, what compassionate caregiver support looks like, and simple meals after a busy week.
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Amuse-Bouche
What do Fridays look like at your house?
Appetizer
How did you get into Behavior Analysis?
What does Compassionate Caregiver Support mean to you?
Palate Cleanser
Are there any fall flavors and foods you enjoy?
Entree
Something you wish you could have told yourself when getting started?
Describe one of your biggest wins
Dessert
What’s a typical day look like, and how do you balance work and life?
Tell us about your mastermind group
What is your favorite thing about what you do?
Excerpts from the Episode
(*Paraphrased highlights)-
To me, what it means is we really look at the definition of compassion, which means empathy plus action.
So compassion is seeing through someone else's eyes, taking their perspective. The second part is taking action to alleviate someone's suffering. When we say suffering, you're like, that's a little dramatic, but all of the families that we support, if they have come to us for parent coaching, for ABA therapy, whatever it is, there's a reason. That's suffering. They’re stressed and they're overwhelmed.
Compassionate caregiver support is first slowing down to try to see through their eyes and be in their feelings. Then taking specific action to alleviate the overwhelm and the stress, not just doing a checklist based on an assessment.
It's seeing the caregiver as a whole person, seeing the family as a whole unit. It's not just, I'm here to work with this kid and this is the 30 page BIP and the 12 step task analysis that's way too long, and going through this checklist. It's really, what's going on here with the human in front of me.
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Definitely to chill out a little bit.
We are all enthusiastic about our science. We are trained and we are reinforced to use all our jargon and try every intervention under the sun— let me learn all the things at once.
That enthusiasm is a good thing, but when it comes to sharing it with others like the parents you're supporting, chill out.
I saw a 31-page behavior intervention plan that a BCBA had written for a student, and I was supervising the classroom teacher.
She was like, "Will you help me read through this and figure out what they're talking about?"
I was like, "Absolutely not.” I will not read a 31-page thing.
I don't know the person who wrote it, but hopefully it was their enthusiasm that led them to a 31-page behavior intervention plan.
Calm down a little bit. Slow down, and let's pick just one thing at a time to work on.
If we can be more intentional, the kid is going to do better, and the parent is going to be able to follow through what's happening.
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Let me do a parent coaching one because that's what I love talking about.
Working with a family, and figuring out this kid had been taught for a long time through his school team, calming strategies like— blow out the birthday candles, smell the flower, count to 4 million and give yourself a hug.
We figured out that this child did not need calming regulation activities, he needed to be active.
I worked with the parents to find some big, gross motor, lots of high energy things to help him calm himself down.
When he was getting dysregulated, that could turn into aggression.
We'd been working for a long time on replacement behaviors, but then we taught him how to choose. We made a choice board with calming activities in one column and active ones on the other side.
This mom was really into CrossFit, and she actually had a giant tire in the backyard that she would flip. He would do it with her and that was a connection and a bonding thing.
When it was wintertime and they lived somewhere where there was snow, he would run up and down the stairs in their house. Activities that take a lot of calories to burn; a lot of energy, made a huge difference.
Calming strategies don't have to look calm.
We don't have to sit in the calming corner and count to 20 and give ourselves a hug and take deep breaths. You can if you like that, if it works for you.
That creativity and that openness and willingness of this family to try crazy things like flipping tires in the backyard was really powerful, really exciting.
ABOUT Leanne
Leanne Page, BCBA, LBA, ACE Provider, founder of ParentingwithABA.org and author of 'Parenting with Science' and 'Enjoy Parenting'
Leanne Page is a board certified behavior analyst, approved BACB continuing education provider, parent coach, mom of two, founder of Parenting with ABA, and best-selling author of Parenting with Science: Behavior analysis saves mom’s sanity, and Enjoy Parenting: The busy mom’s behavior toolbox.
At ParentingwithABA.org, Leanne supports families through free content, online courses and workshops, and parent coaching. Leanne supports professionals through continuing education all about providing compassionate care to families, resources for parent training, and a mastermind group for online ABA business owners.
CONNECT with Leanne
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