Self-Acceptance
with Liliya Engelke
Behavior Bites Podcast - Ep12Apr 12, 2023Do you ever feel like the only way to keep up with everyone else is to stay up late, wake up early, and work until the point of exhaustion?
During today’s meal — Lilly and I chat about using behavior analysis to help adults with ADHD and her transition from working in autism to entrepreneurship.
As a late diagnosed woman herself, Lilly understands the ins and outs of working with ADHD, advocating for your needs, and not comparing yourself to others.
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Amuse-Bouche
What does a typical day look like for you?
Appetizers
How did you get into Behavior Analysis?
How did you make the shift from autism to entrepreneurship?
Palate Cleanser
What’s your go-to meal right now?
Entree
What’s something you wish you could have told yourself when you were getting started?
Could you walk us through your path to your ADHD diagnosis as an adult woman?
What are some misconceptions of ADHD?
Dessert
How do you practice self advocacy, self care & acceptance?
Nightcap
Tell us about your company and using behavior analysis, nutrition, and fitness as a Holistic ADHD coach.
Excerpts from the Episode
(*Paraphrased highlights)-
Take your time and don’t compare yourself to other people. I'm one of those people who, as much as I try not to compare myself to others, I do, and I think maybe this is just something that we're taught growing up. I know that it's a learned behavior, but I know that I also experienced it a lot when I was younger.
Another piece of advise would be to find the appropriate mentor for your niche.
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That it’s a boys’ or childs’ disorder. A lot of people do not know what it looks like in girls or even women.
There's also a very common misconception of self-parenting causing ADHD—you just didn't discipline your kid well enough. You could have done everything right, and your child still has ADHD.
I've had so many parents come to me and they're like, I didn't know I had ADHD until my child had ADHD. When I looked at the diagnosis, I realized, I also have it.
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It's been really important to recognize what my ADHD looks like, and then being okay with the fact that some days I'm not going to be as productive. Anything is better than nothing.
If I get two tasks out of six done that were on my to-do list, I'll still pat myself on the back. If I have a day where I'm doing nothing but sitting on the couch, because I'm just so mentally and physically exhausted—that's also okay.
If you work for somebody else, and you desperately need a day off, take that day off. We're so scared, especially as people in the ABA field to allow ourselves to take a day because we're worried about our supervisors, or we're worried about what's going to happen in the clinic, or we're worried about who's gonna take our place. If you call off for the day, and they're mad that you called off, that sounds like a them problem.
ABOUT Liliya
Liliya Engelke, M.S., CHWC (Certified health and wellness coach)
Lilly has her Masters in Applied Behavior Analysis and is a Certified Health and Wellness Coach who has 7.5 years of experience in the behavior science field.
She was diagnosed with ADHD 6 months into starting her coaching business.
Since then, she has made the transition from health & wellness coach to a Holistic ADHD coach who uses behavior analysis to help adults with ADHD reduce daily overwhelm—by forming habits around Wellness and Executive Functioning.
Connect with Lilly
* Check out all she does at wellnessmantra.org* Follow her on Instagram @itssliliyaa* Follow her on TikTok @itssliliyaaResources
* Recommended Book: "Taking Charge of Adult ADHD" by Russell A. Barkley, PhD
Visit my Podcast page to learn more about Behavior Bites!
